Limericks by Voice of the River Valley Readers

Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, Voice readers responded to our call to share limericks, the poetic form of five lines and two rhymes, typically accompanied by a lilting rhythm and a bit of humor. Our thanks to the poets who contributed these lines.

Fritz and Blitz

Frivolous Fritz and Blundering Blitz

went shopping one day at the mall

Blitz made his way,

 toppling every display

while Fritz gladly paid for it all.

They entered to dine, a cafe down the line

with a salad buffet near the door.

Blitz stumbled head first

n the cold liverwurst;

Fritz ate it all, asking for more.

It didn’t seem right when they left for the night

that they didn’t look worse for the trouble.

Their goods in a sack,

 they didn’t look back

at the mall now reduced to a rubble.


Once a leprechaun lost his way home

after leaving his village to roam

When I saw him he froze

like a rock head to toes

Now he sits in my garden, a gnome

Minerva and Chuck had a date

He picked her up promptly at 8

She was angry, it seemed

it was so, cuz she screamed

“Our date was at 7, YOU”RE LATE!”

He gave her a flower bouquet

he had stopped to pick up on the way

He said he had found

the cheapest around

that he plucked from a funeral display

He said “Should we see a show, Honey?”

I hear it’s incredibly funny

They got ready to pay

everyone heard her say


When he took her home for the night

The timing to Chuck, was just right

He leaned in for a kiss

She said “I’LL GIVE YOU THIS!”

and she knocked poor Chuck out like a light

Pat Larson, Lone Rock

an elegant, aged iguana

had cousins who ate marijuana

invited to dine

she coolly declined

to mix with such scandalous fauna


nevermore may we hear the word “dance”

be employed as a rhyme to “romance”

we must strive for our days 

to be free of cliches

(though one doubts that has much of a ……)


what if, to enjoy mignon fillet

I need be the fellow to kill it?

perhaps I’d employ

some hungrier boy

to see to the task and then bill it


there’s nothing so sure as a fable

to credit a smear or a label

conflating thereby

the truth with the lie

the charlatan’s scheme to enable


there was an young man with a phone

on which he dependent had grown

when going to bed

t’was taped to his head

to keep him from feeling alone


he thought of himself as so clever

his rhyming would go on forever

neglecting to see

how mortality

might serve to constrain the endeavor

Michael Brandt, Arena

Mid winter gray skies are usual,

The groundhog’s arrival is crucial.

My early spring hopes start to blossom….

But NO! That’s just an opposum.

I’ve been duped by a rat-tailed marsupial.

Winter weather still plays hocus-pocus:

Ice, snow, sleet, and rain—I can’t focus.

My thoughts wander, beg pardon,

I dream of my garden….

And yearn for first sight of a crocus!

Sharon Rowe, Iowa County

Winter sun warms the barn where they lay

Dreaming of grazing green grass in May;

The cows are at rest,

Doing their best,

To make milk with corn, water, and hay.


Ireland never had snakes to be banished,

But the one in our basement was famished,

Until many a mouse

Tried to enter our house,

Now thanks to the snake they have vanished.


Dance jigs and hornpipes, play a tin whistle too,

Drink Guinness, make colcannon, try something new,

Pick shamrocks, wear green,

Have fun, don’t be mean,

And luck of the Irish be always with you!

Charlanne FitzGerald, Brigham Township